Stung by a pro

ABOUT seven months ago, I met a Filipino girl from Kuala Lumpur who was visiting Penang for two weeks. It was love at first sight and, after that, we talked for hours over the phone and through sms.

I used to make weekly trips to KL just to be with her and on Sundays we used to go for worship together and spend the rest of the day together in hotels booked by her. It was just wonderful, we had a lot of happy times and I realised how beautiful love was.

She persuaded me to quit my job in Penang and find work in KL, saying I would do it if I was really in love with her.

My problems started the moment I moved to KL. The happy moments and wonderful times we used to have changed to a more sober tone.

Hardship and tears flowed freely in the moment we were together, from morning till the day’s end. I felt as if the world was crashing down.

I also came to know from her that she was a married woman with three kids and a husband back home and she even promised to get a divorce and marry me.

During the tearful moments, she took the opportunity to borrow money from me to support her kids back home and also to finance her studies. She promised to repay me.

I knew she was working as a maid but she insisted that she was studying business management.

One day, after I had handed over thousands of ringgit to her, I realised that something was amiss. As soon as she realised that I suspected things were not right, she started to avoid me.

She changed her phone number and even changed the days of worship to Thursdays as she knew very well I could not.

Whenever I met her, she always found ways to disappear without a single word.

My heart was broken into a thousand pieces. I tried to find out the reasons for all these things happening and I was shocked when I discovered that I was not her only victim.

I also found out that she picked men with whom she could enjoy a luxurious lifestyle. With my own eyes, I saw her going to hotels with other men and enjoying lunches and dinners in cozy places.

Since I saw the truth, I felt lost and almost went mad because the pain was so unbearable.

Now I can only hope to get back the money that she borrowed. That was my hard earned savings for my future.

I did not expect that falling in love for the first time would be such a nightmare. What should I do next? I have lost the energy and the will to carry the burden and sorrow as my heart is filled with unbearable pain?

Victim

YOUR “girlfriend” was a probably a pro who made a living trapping susceptible males with her scheming ways. Most men wouldn’t be able to resist beauty and feminine wiles designed to lure lust and secure money.

However, it would be difficult to get your money back unless you have a legal case. Even then, it would cost you time and money to establish that you have been cheated. After all, you had an affair with her and perhaps, it could be viewed that it was the price of sex that you had to pay for. Seek legal advice for such redress.

Or, since you seem to know her movements, you could try to confront her and threaten to expose her.

If she was truly a maid, she might fear losing her job and getting deported. If she was a sex worker without a proper permit, then you could report her to the immigration authorities. This would help prevent other victims from falling into a similar fate as you.

Do not be overly dramatic about this episode in your life. Many people have been victims of love. It need not be a nightmare for life if you are man enough to admit a human failing and take this as a lesson well learnt.

You will know in future not to succumb to lust too easily but allow love to take proper form and shape before giving away your heart and money.

This Dear Thelma article was extracted from July 29, 2007 Issue of The Star (StarMag, Lifestyle Section) without edits.