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MY husband and I are both 28 and have been married two years.

He is loving and affectionate but there is one serious problem – he has never made love to me and I am still a virgin.

I have asked him many times to make love to me but all he does is hug and kiss me. I have even tried wearing sexy lingerie, but to no avail.

My husband has other strange habits. He regularly gets up after midnight and takes our dog for a walk around the neighbourhood. He is afraid of storms and will come and hold me tightly whenever he hears thunder.

But one incident scared me the most. I woke up one night and realised that he wasn’t in bed. I heard voices coming from the bathroom and when I went to check, I saw him crouched in a corner, talking to himself.

When I went over to him, he started weeping. I asked him what was bothering him but all he could say was that he did not want to see me die.

I went with him to consult a psychologist after this incident but the expert said that my husband’s mental health was perfectly normal.

I love my husband so much and I know that he really loves me. But his absent sex drive and weird behaviour are really stressful on me.

Melissa

SEEK a second and even a third opinion about your husband’s emotional and physical condition. He needs help and you can’t do this on your own.

Do not accept that it is normal if your husband has yet to have sex with you after two years of marriage. His midnight walks and the weeping incident are also unusual.

As he loves you very much, something must be troubling him. It is also not healthy that he does not try to talk to you or medical specialists with regards to his lack of sex drive and odd behaviour.

However, do not treat your husband like a freak. Check out his problems patiently and never lash at him out of fear, frustration and ignorance.

But understand that you will be under a lot of pressure and pain. It is not easy to deal with a situation like this.

It is going to test your love and patience so seek help and support from friends or dear ones.

Do not feel that his behaviour is something to hide in silence. You do not have to explain the details but you need to be able to find solace and understanding when the going gets tough.

This Dear Thelma article was extracted from August 05, 2007 Issue of The Star (StarMag, Lifestyle Section) without edits.